Conviction

“ I now rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because your grief led to repentance. For you were grieved as God willed, so that you didn’t experience any loss from us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, but worldly grief produces death.”

-2 Corinthians 7:9-10

Something I have always said to Berkli over the years is as she was growing up was to “apologize when you mean it, don’t  just say it to say it because you know it’s the right thing to do, but apologize because you realize what you did and truly mean your apology.” And recently, it was I who had to be reminded of these words…

Some days my attitude gets the best of me. Not because I want it to, but because I will bottle up certain emotions that I shouldn’t and at once they all just come exploding out. Kind of like a Coke bottle when you shake it up and then open it…it spews and goes everywhere. 

Just a few days ago words slipped from my tongue that I wished I could have physically grabbed with my hands and shoved right back into my mouth. The pain and hurt happened before I realized and then all I was left with was a guilty conscience and a sickness in my stomach knowing my words have hurt someone I care about. Perhaps you can relate? 

In those few seconds of anger, what had I accomplished? What good did exploding like that do?? Did it somehow make me feel better to know that the other person heard what had been ticking inside of me for months like a timebomb? NO, it didn’t. All it did was cause unnecessary hurt. My actions, my words, my attitude only accomplished two things: pain and regret.

Almost immediately afterwards, I could feel the Holy Spirit in me aching to apologize, but my emotions were still high and I was still upset/hurt over why the incident occurred, even though I was the one who had been short with my words and acted in a shameful manner. 

The next morning I woke up and it was still weighing on me…So I made the call. The call to apologize and admit I was wrong and to ask for forgiveness. Because of who this person was, there were no hard feelings and they understood why I had reacted the way I did. After our conversation, I could physically feel a weight be lifted off my chest. I truly believe there is a peace Jesus gives us when we do the right thing and do it from a place where we truly, wholeheartedly mean it, not just apologizing for the sake of apologizing. 

Key Bible Verses

John 16:8

1 John 1:9

John 8:32

Romans 12:2

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for convicting my spirit when I do wrong. Thank you for the Holy Spirit in me constantly nudging me to do the right thing and guiding me to repentance with You and the person I have offended. Each day I fall short of your glory, but each morning your mercies are new. Please continue to guide me in all that I do and say, may my actions bring You honor and glory. 

Thank you for your faithfulness and forgiveness, even when I feel undeserving.

In Jesus’ name I pray.

Amen.